C O N T A C T

[constructum]

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[constructum]

I was sort of hoping no one would notice that.
But yeah, I apparently didn't take the class on how to be anon before this.

I give you credit, I still have no idea who you are though.

[theheretic]

no offense meant on that one. with some of the stuff i said, it's probably better that way.

[constructum]

None taken.
At least you know I'm not about to tell anyone what we talked about, right?

[theheretic]

which is why i'm still anonymous.

you never answered my question. did you end up figuring things out?

[constructum]

Well giving that you know who I am now, you can see why it's a bit tricky, right?

Meaning: Not exactly.

[theheretic]

wish i could've been a little more helpful.

[constructum]

No. You were. You are. Really.
I can sit and be honest here, and I don't have to pretend to be something I'm not now.
You have no idea how nice that is for me.

[theheretic]

i can imagine.

[ and shortly after: ]

what is it that you feel so guilty about?

you don't have to answer.

[constructum]

It's complicated.
Just a lot of things I didn't take into consideration when I did something is all.
But basically: I didn't get the memo on how to be good at hiding emotions.

[ she sort of figured he would ask about that, and she sort of wants to say, but part of her knows she really has no idea who this person is and that is what is holding her back some. ]

[theheretic]

it's definitely an acquired skill.

[ It took Aidan entirely too many years to learn it, himself. (Then he turned around and used it to seduce his prey for a century or so, but that's not the point.) He definitely knows that feeling. He also definitely understands her wariness, considering how one-sided this anonymous thing is. ]

hindsight's 20/20. you can't zoom out and see all angles of a situation... all you can see is your perspective, from right where you're standing. even if you made a mistake, it doesn't mean anyone else in your situation could've done any better.

[constructum]

Are you me - well the old me?
You sound far too reasonable and level-headed here that I only have to wonder how you do it at times.
But given the situation that I suppose I'm in, I'm fairly sure that there are people that could have done this a lot better than me.
Which isn't a bad thing, it's just the facts and I can only learn how to better adapt to that, right?

[ because in her mind, she is nowhere like the others (Arthur, Cobb or Eames) and that is one of the reasons she finds herself suddenly doubting everything and making things worse than she needs to (yeah, she has no idea it’s the mask that is causing it) ]

[theheretic]

let's just call it years of practice. space is a little crazy, but back home wasn't exactly a walk in the park either.

my point was, it's not your fault. you didn't know. you did the best you could with the information you had.

[constructum]

Maybe that's true with the information I was given, who knows.

But yeah, don't think I didn't catch that whole time frame you had going on.
Have you really been around that long?

[theheretic]

born in 1754.

[constructum]

How's that possible?

[theheretic]

it's a little complicated.

[constructum]

How so?

[theheretic]

because the particular thing that i happen to be kind of has a stigma most places.

[constructum]

Well if it makes you feel any better. I've been know to associate with a space monster, who could very well killed me a while back.

So I'm not one to judge about much of that.


[ she's friends with jenna too, but she is somewhat protective of that friendship and tries not to mention things personal like her being a vampire. ]

[theheretic]

try earth monster. less tentacles, probably same amount of killing.

which i avoid, just putting that out there.

[constructum]

[ so that means: werewolves, vampires, zombies (though that is doubtful) and maybe some crazy killer who just thinks he's a monster. ]

Huh.

[ nothing surprises her in this hell anymore ]

Does anyone else know you're like this?

[theheretic]

a couple of people from home. a couple of people here.

not all of which necessarily want people like me to survive. hence the caution.

[constructum]

Wait, you have people from home here with you?

And you do know, even with those people that don't want you to survive, there are still going to be people that will help you here.

[theheretic]

look, i'm not a "good guy". optimism is fine and good but you have to understand that the people who want me dead have pretty good reasons.

usually. some are just assholes.

[constructum]

Look, are you looking to kill me, or use me and my issues for your personal gain? Because if not, I'm not someone that is going to be sharing your secrets with others that might want to harm you.

So really, even with all the assholes that I know here and back home, you don't have to worry about everyone looking to kill you, no matter what you are.